A Wheelie Good Chat
A Wheelie Good Chat is a podcast hosted by Sam Cole that dives into real-life experiences of living with a physical disability.
With raw honesty and a touch of humour, Sam explores everything from daily challenges to societal assumptions, shining a light on the stories that often go unheard.
Each episode features open conversations and reflections that aim to break barriers, challenge the norm, and inspire more inclusive thinking, one chat at a time.
Follow the journey on Instagram: @awheeliegoodchat | @sam.bamalama
A Wheelie Good Chat
32. Dear Younger Me (plus an Update…)
Have you ever wondered what you’d tell your younger self if you could? In this deeply personal episode, I read a letter to my younger self; the girl still fighting against her disability, feeling out of place, and unsure where she belonged.
I reflect on the shift from denial to acceptance, and how making peace with my disability became the unexpected key to contentment. I talk about what’s still hard, what’s gotten easier, and what’s surprised me most.
This isn’t just my story. It’s an invitation to reflect on your own. Be kinder to yourself. Write that letter. You might be further along than you think.
You’ll also hear a small update about the podcast and what’s ahead as it moves into a new chapter.
Thanks for listening, I really appreciate the ongoing support! Follow the podcast on Instagram @awheeliegoodchat and Sam @sam.bamalama
Please review the podcast on Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/a-wheelie-good-chat/id1654431839
I want to start this episode of A Really Good Chat by acknowledging that I'm recording on Wadjuk, noongar country. I pay my respects to the Elders past, present and emerging. Always was, always will be, aboriginal land. I'm your host, sam Cole, and this is A Really Good Chat where I get real about life with a disability and everything in between yes, even the not so PG stuff. I live with a condition called dystonia and I started this podcast to break stigma and share the things we as a society don't talk enough about. Hi everyone, so I hope we're all going well. It's definitely getting colder where I am in Western Australia, which is really sad to think that it's winter time. I'm not a fan of winter. I hope you're all going well, wherever you are in the world.
Speaker 1:Before we get into today's episode, I do just want to mention, for those who haven't seen, the posts on the Instagram page. Joel has unfortunately decided to step down as co-host due to his own personal reasons, and it's on the podcast Instagram page, as he wrote a little message for the listeners and during that time he was known as the question guy and it was really lovely to have that person who was asking the questions. I guess the questions that I don't think to answer within my story or my episodes. But yeah, so I do just want to say thank you so much to Joel for being on for the 80 episodes that he was. Of course, the podcast is going to sound a little bit different. I really do hope that you stick around for all the episodes I've got planned, because I've got some great episodes planned.
Speaker 1:So, moving on to today's episode, I'm going to be reading out a letter to my younger self, and I wanted to take a moment to speak directly to my younger self, a version of me who was trying to figure it all out, the one who felt out of place, unsure and, honestly, kind of lost. And I'm sharing this with you because I know so many of us have felt lost in some point in our lives, even if that's 20 years ago, when we were a kid, or now we might feel lost. Reflection is so important. Sometimes, looking back is exactly what we need to make sense of where we are now and how far we've come. So, whether this feels like something that you can relate to or something completely different, I hope it gives you a moment to reflect, or maybe even write a letter of your own. If I could sit down with my younger self, the one who was just starting to realize how different life might look, here's what I would say, dear younger me, I know right now it feels like you don't quite fit anywhere, like you're standing still while the wheel races ahead and you're just trying to figure out how to catch up. But here's what I want you to know your body isn't broken. There's nothing to be ashamed of. The real problem isn't you, it's the world around you that hasn't figured out how to include you yet.
Speaker 1:For years you've been in denial about having a disability. You've avoided the labels, the definitions, even the details of your condition and the treatment you've had. But eventually something shifted. Even the details of your condition and the treatment you've had. But eventually something shifted. You have the realization and in that moment you stop fighting it. You let it become part of your story.
Speaker 1:Now that doesn't just magically fix everything. You still get frustrated a lot, but instead of bottling it up, you begin to reflect on it. You start to understand yourself a little more. You're learning slowly to make peace with it. But people who truly matter they'll never make you feel like you're too much or not enough. They'll just get you. Some people will hurt you. That's part of life. But with every disappointment you go stronger. You start to spot the ones who don't see your worth and you stop wasting energy trying to prove yourself to them.
Speaker 1:Right now you feel so small, like everyone else is moving forward Relationships, careers, families and somehow you're stuck left behind. But here's the truth you deserve love just as much as anyone else. That outsider feeling will come and go, even when you're surrounded by incredible people and you will be Friends. You never could have imagined the kind who lift you up. But even then there'll be moments where you feel like you don't quite belong. That rush of loneliness still shows up, but you learn how to sit with it. You learn how to ride it out without letting it swallow you. You discover that your voice matters. There are people out there who need to hear what you have to say. I know it sounds scary. You've never wanted the attention, but you come to realise just how powerful your voice can be, not just for you but for others who haven't been given the chance to speak. You've always cared about the underdogs and that hasn't changed. Be proud of that. So keep going, even when it feels impossible. I promise it's all going to be worth it. All my love.
Speaker 1:Much older me, so reading that letter back it still really hits me. It did take a while to really kind of put that letter together, but I hope it wasn't too static to listen to. I try to make it short but also at the same time I didn't want to bypass any kind of important bits that I think were important to the letter and the story, or my story, should I say so there's so much I would have never expected in life and how far I've come. So the pain, the lessons, the surprising peace I found in places I used to fight. So I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on what's still hard for me, what's gotten easier and what's generally surprised me about the life I'm living. So what's so hard?
Speaker 1:Honestly, just to be completely transparent, the fact that this isn't the life that I had envisioned for myself or my younger self had envisioned. I'm not off doing what I want when I want. You know, I'll always need someone with me in order to live my best life, and that's a shitty thought. It's a scary thought to have to have someone with me, no matter how much I love and adore my supports. I can't just pop down the shops independently or go to the movies independently. I'll always need someone with me and that's a tough reality. I look forward to the day where I'll be independent enough just to go to the shops by myself, and that's grief in that earning for what could have been. I know that's not healthy, but I'm just trying to be really raw and honest here. So I guess there's a constant battle with the fact that independence looks so different for me. I'm not saying I'm constantly, always thinking about the what's, ifs and how my life could have been, because you know that's definitely not healthy. But certainly at times it does come on a lot stronger than other times. So that's probably the big one that still hurts. But some things have certainly got easier.
Speaker 1:And that's my understanding of people, especially those who are incredibly or seem incredibly uncomfortable around people with a disability. I guess I used to carry that weight. I guess I used to feel obligated, like it was something that I needed to fix or explain. Now I've come to realise that it's 100% not a me problem at all, it's definitely a them problem the fact that they are just so visibly uncomfortable by someone with a disability. For years I was very I guess I was angry Angry, not just saying oh, oh, can you please talk to me? This is for me. I would. I'll get so frustrated that I would swear at people just in frustration, which has made my life a lot easier and I guess I'm not on edge as much when I do go out, I'm a lot more present. So someone's discomfort does not at all define my worth. And that's not just for disability, that can be for anything at all. We are a lot more than just someone's interaction or how they perceive we should be treated.
Speaker 1:And I guess, like in my letter you know, I mentioned coming to terms with my disability and I'm sure I have come to terms with my disability and I'm sure I have come to terms with my disability makes it easier for me to shrug that off and not think it it's a full-on offense. I mean it's still not nice, but I didn't get caught up in it as much and not stewing on it for days after. And what has surprised me the most is the moment I accept my life and my condition for what they are. Truly accept them was the moment that I felt the most content, not because everything was the way that it should be, but because I stopped wasting energy wishing things were different and just started making peace with it, and I guess that kind of ties into why it's so hard and what has gotten easier.
Speaker 1:So if there's one thing I want you to take away from this episode is that growth doesn't mean you have it all figured out. It means learning to sit with the hard stuff and still choosing a way to move forward Wherever you're at in life. I hope you can be a little kinder to yourself. Reflect on how far you've come is really really powerful. Putting words on a paper and actually getting them out of your mind is really. It's quite liberating actually. Yeah, so write that letter, like I said, and give yourself the words that you once needed to hear that you didn't get. It's really quite a powerful and quite an emotional thing, if I'm being honest. So just make sure you're in the right headspace to be writing a letter to your younger self and take care after.
Speaker 1:I'm a big advocate for self-care. So if you write the letter and give yourself a warm shower and a face mask and a glass of wine and a choccy, go for it. Absolutely go for it, as long as you're being kind to yourself, because sometimes these letters can really bring up a lot of emotional things that are sitting at the surface and that maybe you haven't dealt with in the right way. Getting them out of your mind is a great starting point, if I do say so. Thank you so much for listening and for holding space for this part of my story. I'll catch you all in the next episode, but until then, take care of yourself and remember you're not alone in this. And that's it for today's ride. Thanks for rolling with me. Make sure you're following a really good chat on instagram for all the latest updates and, if you're loving the chat, don't forget to follow the podcast on your favorite streaming platform. Stay safe, everyone. I'll catch you next time.
