A Wheelie Good Chat

38. Catching My Breath, and Catching You Up

• Sam Cole

Share episode

Ever cheered loudly for someone else’s milestone and then wondered why your own path feels slow? In this catch-up, I open up about taking a pause after three emotional episodes with my mum, celebrating my brother’s wedding, and navigating the mix of joy and comparison that followed. I talk about feeling stuck, naming pressure, and rebuilding momentum without forcing a sprint.

I also dive into the difference between curiosity and connection around disability, and why better questions build real understanding. Plus, a bit of grounding from my gym progress, proof that small reps count. If you’re easing back after a break, this one’s your reminder that slow growth still moves you forward.

Thanks so much for listening to A Wheelie Good Chat! Your support means the world.

Follow along on Instagram: @awheeliegoodchat | @sam.bamalama

💬 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
Click here to leave a review

Sam Cole:

I wanna start this episode of A Wheelie Good Chat by acknowledging that I'm recording on Whadjuk Noongar country. I pay my respects to the elders past, present, and emerging. Always was. Always will be Aboriginal land.

Sam Cole:

I'm your host, Sam Cole, and this is A Wheelie Good Chat where I get real about life with a disability and everything in between. Yes, even the not so PG stuff. I live with a condition called dystonia and I started this podcast to break stigma and share the things we as a society don't talk enough about. Hey everyone. I hope you're all going well, wherever you're listening from today. This episode is just going to be a life catch up where I've been up to where my head's at, the good parts and the messy parts. Trying to be as honest as I can in this episode. Yeah, so more of a little chit chat with a friend. First of all, I wanna talk about my hiatus that I've had. So my last episode that I did with my mum was end of August, and now it's the beginning of November, which is crazy. And so for me doing those three episodes with mum was such a great experience and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to sit down and talk to mum about those kind of things. You know, things that we didn't really stop and reflect on and have that conversation with each other. Maybe we have it with other people in our lives, but definitely not just mum and I talking so openly and so vulnerably, which I was really, really appreciative of mum. But because those three episodes were so emotionally taxing for me, I just needed some time to regroup myself and just kind of let the the words and the emotion just kind of sit there rather than rushing off and doing another episode straight away. I think it was really important for me just to have that time to think about what was discussed and, and how impactful it was to me and hopefully to the listeners as well. And I suppose when those three episodes were released, one after another. It was quite a powerful thing for me to realise that, I can do weekly podcasts episodes if I need to. And I feel that it's more beneficial to do it weekly. But at the same time it was a lot of work to have to edit week after week. But I'm glad I did it that way. It structured it that way rather than doing it monthly. I just feel that it would've lost its impact doing it monthly, if that makes sense. And following on from the three episodes I did with mum, the amazing support that we got from people, people who didn't know what mum and I have gone through or are still going through kind of thing. Really showing their support for mum and I, and just how open and how vulnerable we were and how honest we were which shows how I feel like how far we've come as a mother and daughter relationship. Of course it has times where it's really testing. I'm sure like most mother and daughter relationships, let's be honest. But being able to be so open with my mum was very refreshing, but also very emotionally taxing. And I suppose seeing that this is a one man show, or should I say a one woman show? The fact that I edited it all myself, so listening back through it for three weeks consecutively was quite a lot. But yeah, so being a one woman show, it is quite a lot of pressure. You know, I'm the one who's doing everything, and of course I love that. But to tie those three episodes together. I just wanna say thank you so much for all the love and the support that mum and I received during those three episodes. It was something very different for us to be so open, be so vulnerable. But it was really an eyeopener for me to learn those things that mum talked about. Hopefully it is impactful with to someone that you know, or even to yourself. I really appreciate the feedback because they were quite heavy, quite a lot. But I'm just trying to be raw and honest with everyone around the episodes not the episode the life, the life that mum and I have. So genuinely thank you for your support and love on those three episodes Speaking for mum, but I'm sure she would agree that we truly appreciated everyone listening, everyone giving us beautiful, warm messages is really appreciated. So yeah, thank you so much for, listening. And then moving on to a very big day in early October when it was Jake and Kristie's beautiful wedding day. So my brother and now sister-in-law got married and it was the most beautiful day. The weather was so perfect and Marli and Huey were part of the ceremony. It was so beautiful. So cute. And they were really well behaved. They got married on these beautiful steps. And Huey was just walking up and down them, but not making any noise. He was just doing his own thing. It was so, so cute. And of course Kristie looked absolutely beautiful. Yeah, so that was something very special that's happened recently. So I now officially got a sister-in-law, which is very exciting. It's just really exciting to have it official now. That's been something really beautiful to celebrate. But to be completely honest and raw. And I guess That's what, you know, my podcast is about, being really open and you know, not just sharing all the good stuff that happened, I guess on the flip side of, you know, just this feeling of stuck. And I wanna talk about this because I feel like we all go through it at some stage in our life and it's important for us to recognise that, life is up and down. It's never linear. It's important for me to recognise where are these feelings coming from and why am I feeling is way. So I guess for me, feeling stuck comes back to watching people around me move into their next phase of life. Traveling, getting engaged, having kids starting a family, getting a job. And, you know, I'm so exceptionally happy, proud for them a hundred percent, but at the same time we can also a hundred percent me included, feel that we're just not there yet. And it's those friends have done. It's just something within ourselves that feels like, are we ever gonna get there? Once again, the societal pressures of wanting to achieve a goal or wanting to have done something by a certain age, but we haven't got there. But that's all society pressures or that's how I feel society puts pressures on us to, you know, having a solid job, solid income, by the time you're 30. That hasn't happened for me yet. And verbalising is definitely hard and definitely very difficult. But it's sometimes good just to talk out loud and, even journal. It is something I also do just to kind of get it out of the system and, acknowledge that is why I'm feeling stuck. You know, People are moving on with their life, but I feel like I'm not, and I'm just kind of I'm not going anywhere. For sure, I'm, doing stuff and keeping me busy, but there's this part of me that's like, I want more for my life than what I have. And there's only one person that can make that change. And that's, my, myself. And I think recognising what's going on is, amazing for anyone, not just myself, suppose it's, you know, that classic, it's easiest said, been done kind of thing. and I just wanna acknowledge if you are feeling stuck, it doesn't mean you are behind at all. But it does feel like you are, it feels like everyone else is sprinting and you are just sort of trying to figure out where to even start. I've definitely had moments of questioning, what am I doing? Where am I going? Am I moving forward or am I just stuck in a place that I don't really wanna be in? I just wanna say out loud that it's okay to be in that space. You're not missing anything. You are exactly where you need to be in your timeline, but that doesn't make it feel any less real and any less tough to recognise what's happening and how you're feeling. The first thing for me that's really helpful, is recognising why you're feeling stuck and moving on from that is quite. Quite a powerful thing. Something positive that I have been enjoying and working on is my gym progress. So the gym is a really good thing for me. You know, I am sure everyone can relate to this one, but the gym is just a place where I can work on my fitness just like everyone else. I can strive for better, just like everyone else. I can increase my weights just like everyone else, I think for me that is really important to have that sense of normality and being that I'm such a type A personality, very structured. So going in twice a week is so beneficial to my, not only my physical wellbeing, but also my mental wellbeing I have spoken about. In previous episodes, just going there and, thinking that I can lift 12 kilo medicine balls, but in that session I end up lifting 15 kilos and for 10 lifts up and down, I don't know what you call 'em, but, and then hold for 10 seconds. Like, that's pretty. It's pretty cool, if I do say so. I'm really proud of how far I've come. You know, I love going to the gym and like, sure, the transformation hasn't been drastic, but for me it's, I can notice how stronger I'm getting. I do these planks where I lift one leg up and down and then I do the other leg up and down. And I think I only say that maybe at the start of the year. Maybe I should go back because with the planking I was doing, I was only like holding for five seconds and then I worked up 10 seconds with some arm bends in there, and then it must have been a few months ago, I ended up doing my leg lifts and then, so eventually I've been lifting my legs right off the ground, one at a time, which is really cool to be able to see the progress over time. Oh my God, I'm outta breath. I'm not used to having to talk so much. Wow. That's when you know you've had a too long of a break, should we say, I'm just blah, blah, blah. And then I'm like, oh my god, Sam, catch your breath. But yeah, so I think that's really important for me to discuss. Well, to be fair, actually, I was talking to a friend and I said, like, what I'm gonna be talking about in my recording, and they said, don't forget about the progress you've made in the gym. So thank you to that friend Asha who, brought. That side of it to light. I also want to take a minute to talk about something that's really important to me with this podcast. My story is a part of who I am, but it definitely does not define me. As I said previously, my disability, my challenges, my experiences, yes, they shaped my journey, but they're not the whole picture. And this podcast was never about my story. It's about connection is about bringing awareness to disability and normalising conversations around disability and breaking the stigma set by society. You know, it is about humor, growth, real connections. Some messy bits. Some funny bits. All of it, and hearing my story is just creating a bigger picture. You know, I want this to feel like a space where we can explore being human. Whether that's deep or just laughing about something that happened during the week, and with these stories and conversations hopefully comes the breaking the stigma of disability and why it's so important to me to break those stigmas. Yeah, I hope that people realise why I'm doing this podcast. You know, as much as I joke about when people ask, oh, what's your podcast about? And I say about me, obviously I do it jokingly because yeah, sure. I tell my story or a situation that I experienced, but the bigger picture is always breaking the stigma that of people with a disability and how we get treated in our day to day life. So breaking that is my number one priority, and just opening the conversations up and giving those people who thinks it's okay to stare or talk down to someone. At least if they change their ways, I'm a happy person because they've reassessed the way they maybe approach someone with a disability and, and, you know, talk to them like a real person, not just. Someone who they can't make eye contact with. Yeah, it's really, really wanna kind of emphasise that because I had someone at an event a while ago, they said to me, it was really good to find out what happened. And then I kept, I guess emphasising. That my podcast is more about breaking stigmas and, you know, normalising conversations around disability. But this person was just so fixated on what happened to me and their curiosity was, was gone because they know now. Not that I know, but I feel that this person who made that comment only listened to the first episode because, you know, their curiosity was, gone. They didn't need to listen to anything else because why would they? They've listened to what happened to me. So they don't need to listen to anything else because that's what they listen to it for. Was to kind of get the curiosity itch out they scratch the itch. Let me just say that. They scratch the itch. And don't get me wrong, I'm all for being curious about why someone's certain way or whatever it may be, but I don't say it to the individual. I'm glad I know now what happened, so I can close that, chapter in my brain and just move on. But, yeah, so it's just a very interesting interaction with that particular person. And I'm not saying they meant any harm by what they said, but it's just being aware of how that can come across. They've never asked or never felt they could ask which left me very confused and baffled as to why. So yeah, that's where I'm at currently. A bit of proud, happy, and overwhelmed, all of these emotions in the past, a few months since my last episode release. I just wanna say if you're in a similar situation or feeling stuck, or if you have. I hope you know you are not alone. You're allowed to figure it out. You're allowed to move slow. You're allowed to feel stuck and still be growing. I really appreciate every single one of you who's taken the time to listen to this episode, But yeah thank you for being here, I truly appreciate it, and I really am so grateful and being patient while I have that few, couple of months hiatus. It is something I've really needed to do. Just kind of step back and take my time and ease my way back into recording, you know, and that's why I thought just do something small. I'm sure this episode's gonna be, not a super long one, but, you know, I think it's like anything, if you've been away from it for too long, you know, you start to doubt your ability. Start to doubt everything that you, that you're capable of and have done before, just 'cause of the break. You know? For example, going to the gym, if you're being away for a while due to work or holiday, there may be part of you that's kind of like, why do I need to go to the gym? I've been quite okay for the past couple of months without the gym. Why would I go now? But getting back on, the bike, you know, for maybe 15 minutes. It's still something, it's still moving your body. It's very similar to being recording and preparing episodes, but yeah. But that's all for this episode everyone, until next time. Thank you so much and please remember to be kind to yourselves. And I will chat soon. And that's it for today's ride. Thanks for rolling with me. Make sure you're following A Wheelie Good Chat on Instagram for all the latest updates. And if you're loving the chat, don't forget to follow the podcast on your favourite streaming platform. Stay safe, everyone. I'll catch you next time.

Head Shot

Sam Cole

Host