42. Whose Voice Is Being Centred?

I reflect on a tragic event that occurred in Western Australia earlier this year, and the way stories like this are reported.

This isn’t about speculation or assigning blame. Instead, it’s a conversation about language, media framing, and why autonomy and dignity still matter in the way we speak about people, even after they’re gone.

I also share my own initial reaction to the reporting, and what it made me reflect on.

A thoughtful and important conversation about whose voices are centred, and whose are missing.

Thanks so much for listening to A Wheelie Good Chat! Your support means the world.

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Transcript

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Sam 0:00

I want to start this episode of A Wheelie Good Chat by acknowledging that I'm recording on Whadjuk Noongar country. I pay my respects to the Elders past, present and emerging. Always was. Always will be Aboriginal land. I'm your host, Sam Cole, and this is A Wheelie Good Chat, where I get real about life with a disability and everything in between. Yes, even the not so PG stuff. I live with a condition called dystonia, and I started this podcast to break stigma and share the things we, as a society, don't talk enough about. Hey everyone and welcome back to another episode. Before we start I just want to give a quick content note. Today I'm talking about a tragic event that happened here in Western Australia earlier this year involving the deaths of two teenage boys. I won't be going into graphic details, but the conversation will touch on suicide, disability and how the media talks about situations like this. If this conversation feels heavy for you today, please take care while listening or feel free to skip this episode. Recently there was a tragedy in Mosman Park involving two teenage boys. When events like this happen media coverage moves very quickly and the language used in those early reports can shape how we understand what happened. Something that has really been sitting with me as I've read the reporting is the way the boys themselves have been spoken about and the narrative that sometimes appears in stories like this. This episode isn't about speculation or assigning blame. I'm not here to analyse why this tragedy happened. That's not mine to do. But what I do want to talk about is the language we use, whose stories get centered and why autonomy and dignity still matter, even in the way we talk about people after they're gone. For anyone who might not be familiar with the situation I'm referring to, earlier this year, at the end of January, there was a tragic incident in Mosman Park involving two teenage boys and their parents. Reports indicated that the boys had significant disabilities and high support needs and that their parents ended both of their boys lives before ending their own. I'm not going to go into further detail about the event itself because that's not my purpose of this episode. What I want to talk about instead is the way situations like this are discussed and reported and how language shapes the way we understand them. I also want to acknowledge that I'm not a parent. I don't know what it's like to raise children, especially children with high support needs but the perspective I bring to conversations like this comes from somewhere else, from being part of the disability community and wanting to centre the humanity of those boys. Because of that, my instinct in stories like this, it's always to centre the humanity and autonomy of the person with a disability, including the way we talk about them after they're gone. At the center of this story are two teenage boys. They weren't just part of a headline or a broader narrative about their family. They were two young people with their own life, personalities, experiences and future. And something that has been sitting uncomfortably with me is how easily those individual's lives can disappear in the way these stories are reported. One phrase that often appears in reporting like this is the phrase family tragedy. And while the situation is absolutely tragic, language like that can sometimes soften what actually happened and shift the focus away from the two young people who lost their lives. It becomes a story about the family situation rather than about the life that were taken. Another thing that sometimes happens in early reporting is that description of the adult appears first. Words like devoted parent or loving family can appear, early in coverage. And while those descriptions might reflect part of someone's life, the risk is that the narrative begins to centre the adults instead of the children whose lives were lost. Something else I've noticed and it's hard to ignore is how differently these situations are often reported depending on whether or not the children have a disability. When tragedies involve non disabled children, the language tends to centre the children first. Their lives, their future, the loss of what could have been. There's often very little softening of what happened, and very little focus on trying to understand or frame the actions of the adults in a sympathetic way. But when disability is part of the story, the narrative can shift. The focus can move more quickly towards the parents, their circumstances and what they were going through. And again, I'm not here to judge or analyse those circumstances, but it's worth noticing that difference. Because when disability changes the way a story is told, It can also change how we value the lives at the centre of it. And that's something we should feel uncomfortable about. So one phrase that I kept hearing repeated over and over again, and very early on really made my ears prick up, and it was the language that the parents ended their boys lives in what was described as a non violent way. And that wording really sat uncomfortably with me from the outset. Because no matter how something is described, medically or technically, the reality is that two children's lives were taken. When language like non violent is used, it can unintentionally soften the reality of what happened and shift the focus away from the harm that occurred. Many reports have also highlighted that the boys had significant disabilities and high support needs. And that reality deserves to be acknowledged. But disability should never be used in a way that quietly diminishes someone's humanity or the value of their life. When disability becomes the central explanation in a tragedy it can unintentionally send a message that those lives were somehow less full or less meaningful. And I think it's also important to be honest about my own initial reaction to the reporting. Because when I first heard about it, my immediate thought was, Oh, the poor parents. That must be really hard for them. And I think that says a lot about how these stories are often framed. Because very quickly, the focus can shift towards understanding the parents, instead of centring the two young individuals whose lives were taken. And it took me a moment to catch that, and really sit with why that was my first reaction. And that shift in perspective is something that has really stayed with me. And I realised something. They didn't have the choice. They didn't have the way to say. Hold on, I don't want to die. Why are you taking my life away? And the way that the media have portrayed disability as this, I guess, an excuse in a way for the parents in ending their own boys’ lives is actually mind boggling to me to put forth this notion that because these boys had severe disabilities and high support needs that the parents were praised in a way, and respected for what they had been through. And I don't want to diminish what the parents have been through, absolutely not. But, it's just the way that the media puts these words out and uses them very freely without any thought or any recognition about how that can affect people with a disability. Like I've always said, there's a range of disabilities and I'm sure when I first heard this language used, for me it really kind of felt, oh, is my life worth as much as my friends? Because I require more support than the typical person in air quotes. Hearing that narrative was really tough to shake and to have to listen to and read. Something I think about a lot is autonomy. Autonomy doesn't mean independence. Many people with a disability need support to live their lives. Whether that's physical support, communication support or daily assistance. But needing support does not mean someone's life belongs to someone else. Disability, even significant disabilities, should never take away someone's humanity or their right to live their own life. This is something we see more broadly in society too. People with a disability are often spoken about in ways that frame their life through burden, care or dependency. And while support and care are very real parts of someone with a disabilities lives. Those things should never erase someone's identity, individuality, or worth. I also think about what it would look like if stories like this were told differently. What it would look like if the focus was first on the lives of the people who died. Their personalities, their interests, the things that made them who they were. Instead of immediately focusing on the circumstances around them. Because disability is often spoken about through the lens of burden or tragedy. But people with a disability live full, complex lives just like anyone else. When we only frame disability through hardship, we reinforce the idea that those lives are somehow lesser. And that's why language matters so much. Because the words we choose shape how society understands disability, autonomy and worth. And I think conversations like this matter. Because the way we speak about people, especially after they're gone, Reflects what we believe about whose lives hold value. Two teenage boys lost their lives. They weren't simply part of someone else's story. They were individuals whose lives belonged to them. Disability should never be used as a reason to quietly diminish the value of someone's life or the importance of their autonomy. Even in tragedy, dignity still matters in the way we speak, in the stories we tell, in those who we choose to centre. And maybe the real question is, when we read stories like this, Whose voice is being centred? And whose is missing? I really appreciate you taking the time to sit with this conversation. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other.

Speaker 2 10:57

And that's it for today's ride. Thanks for rolling with me. Make sure you're following A Wheelie Good Chat on Instagram for all the latest updates. And if you're loving the chat, don't forget to follow the podcast on your favourite streaming platform. Stay safe everyone. I'll catch you next time.